Structuring The Day To Win

We talk a lot about how to be productive, get things done, avoid overwhelm, etc. Until now though, we’ve never really discussed the HOW. So enjoy this video below of how to structure the day for someone with Asperger’s to actually get things done. We’ve included a download below as well.



Right click to download and choose “save as” (Ctrl+click on a mac)
This isn’t covered in the video, but here’s a day plan for summer/non school days.

176 thoughts on “Structuring The Day To Win

  1. I was reading recent comments from Melanie and Emily and I would really like to get in touch with them, especially Emily. My 21 yo daughter has somewhat rejected her Aspie dx made at age 16 while in a program for troubled youth. (BTW she excelled in that structured environment and I can tell others more about it). In the end, she is still high functioning living by herself ion a city 3 hrs away but prone to meltdowns, depression, anxiety, unwise choices, ignoring important matters, etc.

    I sure could use talking to someone her age who is a new dx Aspie in hopes of getting through to her about learning more about the spectrum, looking at Danny and Hayden’s videos, and trying to address some of her challenges. I’ve tried but she won’t do it really. I’m tired, sad, concerned with needing to hold her accountable yet afraid to “release her to her own consequences”, abused verbally and almost physically during meltdowns (although much less frequent) and need to try a different approach. She can drive Mother Teresa to becoming physical just to get her to stop and shut-up. I hate losing control and wanting to lash out to her anger and wicked tongue.
    I can’t really influence her much any more, have to threaten or bribe her to be responsive, but fearful one day she will sink so deep and feel so hopeless that she’ll commit suicide.

  2. Our 11 yr old son will always argue/avoid hygiene tasks in the morning, but because he is a messy eater we have always got him to have breakfast before going in the bathroom. Is there a reason why you put hygiene tasks first, and would it not work as well if breakfast was first?

  3. I have a few questions actually. The schedule you have mentioned I have been doing already with my 7y daughter and to some extent it works but how do i get her to stay focused on her schedule right away and she gets an hour to get her morning routine done before I head her to say care to catch the school bus? And how do i get her to stop what she is doing 100 percent of the time to stop looking in her pants 100 percent of the time? Because she will always tell me she did stop what she was doing to “go” every time and that she knew she had to “go”. I have other questions as well but I think when you answer these two it will answer a couple of my other questions I hope. Although I do have a question about whether you have any suggestions on where i can take her to get a real diagnosis because the only other place I can think of is a mental hospital called streamwood but I don’t know whether I should try it or not to take her there and see if they can help us other than subscribing her mirlax when that is not the issue and she has ultra sounds and everything else done to get to solve the issue and no one believes she has aspergers except me get mother because practically everything you talk about her fits her to a t. And yes she has a potty schedule as well. Any suggestions?

  4. Do you have any schedule recommendations for a college student. It is a struggle making a structured day when they have a lot more time on their hands

  5. When sitting at the computer for a while, I have a great deal of trouble getting up from chair and starting a new task. The inertia, and effort it takes to get my muscles moving, is almost painful. Inertia and procrastination are two of my most frustrating complaints about Aspergers. I am not a self-starter, by any means. It’s a real act of will to get anything done throughout the day. Some would say this is laziness, but it isn’t. Once I am moving, I am unstoppable. It’s the stopping and starting again that is a real PITA, and feels like an actual physical ailment.

  6. Thank you, I’m 39 yrs old, and I’ve only recently discovered I have aspergers, I need to make schedules like this for myself. I’m just struggling sometimes with how detailed they need to be, and I tend to get distracted so easily. All tips very welcome!!

  7. Great video. I found the timer worked when my son was younger. Do you have any suggestions on how to get an 18 year-old in college to embrace a routine (that he needs) when he doesn’t think he needs one?

  8. I am so glad to have found your site. It is a breath of fresh air. All of the scientific blather wasn’t really helping with the day to day life.
    My son is 8 1/2 and we homeschool both he and his 10 1/2 yo brother. This scheduling video is great, but how would you work a homeschool day? My son has great transition troubles. I have tried short 15 min lessons, but the list is then overwhelming ; I have tried longer lessons but fewer; I have tried shorter and fewer. Each time I get frustrated with the transitions. We are just now settling into an Aspie diagnosis.
    What type of ‘school scheduling’ would you suggest? Is there a reasonable ‘transition’ period?
    Thanks, I look forward to viewing your other videos.

  9. Thanks, Danny for the schedule. I live as I’ve mentioned, in an Assisted Living facility. I love it here because of the independence that they let me do. I’m in charge of my medication, but I have the manager as a backup. I still have a problem with hygiene. I have to modify my day around my housemates and their schedules. Meals here are scheduled, so I could get dressed enough to do breakfast and then do shower/hygiene. I procrastinate BIG TIME. My mom still calls me on this. Last December, I went to behavioral health at our local community hospital because I got bored and depressed. I told them voices wanted me to die and had a plan. I got admitted ASAP and had to wear their uniform and conform to their schedule. I cant stand to hear a TV all day and theirs plays til 2 am. I’m better now that I’m at home again. I wish I could see my children, but they still blame me for they way they are. I’m a grandmother too I saw the girls last easter. It hurts, but I just pray and give it to God. Thanks for being there for me.

  10. My son already most of this. However, when I have tried the decompression time in the past he would flip out and begin to cry so I would just let him go start to homework like he wanted. Now working situations for my husband and I have changed, which means that afterschool has changed for my son, so I’m not sure how we can make this happen.

  11. My daughter is very high functioning autistic young women. She is 37 years old. She has been living on her own for 10 years. I would like to find a way to help her with her sensitivity to sound. It is very overwhelming for her. She focuses on background noises. Depends on headphones for support. She has very little social skills. I realize that its because of her anziety and stress related to socializing. She can if she has to use four words or less for necessity purposes. Do you have any suggestions?

  12. Thank you, this makes me think I’ve been doing something right. I leave no time for extra’s in the morning and it works well. I was always amazed how my daughter performed well, better when the timer was set…ever since she was little.
    My question is about after school.
    My daughter is heavily involved in sports. She’s very athletic, has great eye hand coordination. I have had her on sports teams since she was 6/7, because she’s an only child & I thought is was best. She’s now almost 12 and every night has something, softball, conditioning, soccer or inline hockey. She’s a 6th grader at a small school & she makes these teams and loves it.
    My issue is the “down time”, not sure when the 1hr. comes in, because she’s wanting to plop in front of the TV for down time, which she says relaxes her. When I tell her to get her homework done & eat first, she blows up. And usually, it’s too late for TV and she’s really mad and difficult to get to bed, 8:30.
    I have suggested stopping at least 1 sport & she refuses. I have told her the next “blow up” I will pull her from a team….well that hasn’t worked either.
    I am big on down time….but she has so little because she likes being active. Also, she tells me all the time “she’s afraid of people”, so I’m hoping as she matures and is on all these teams it will help her feel more comfortable.
    Any suggestions?
    Thank you soooooo much!

  13. This is great! We have intuitively been following such a regime since school began. I have a 6th grader now and she adheres to her ‘schedule’ very well on her own. I think she likes to know what the order of the day is.
    Also, she has always asked for an hour decompression time after school. I don’t think a lot of people understand how much energy it takes to be around a classroom full of students all day. She most often chooses nature based activities for that.
    Thanks for the validation with this clip. Makes me feel good about our strict guidelines. They are helpful to her, not only for us as parents! Less stress all around!

  14. You are such a source of inspiration to me. I am finally beginning to understand my grown son. Now I feel like I can handle my 10 year old daughter and have more hope for her. I know that we personally have lived through much of what I have heard you talk about with our through it a second time around now with his sitter! It is good to see such encouragement! Keep up the great work!

  15. I could really use some advice. My 5 year old is in pre-K and he goes to a very structured school. He is still struggling majority during play time as far as sharing with other kids and also transitioning from task to task despite being given warning. I believe the days schedule is pretty much the same each day. This is the same at home. The explosions are not every day but he has yelled loud enough to make other kids scared or cry. What do I DO??

  16. My son was not diagnosed with autism until after he graduated high school. He has always had a difficult time waking up. Alarm clocks don’t work. I also spanked him until he was a teenager. This only served to make him mad and bitter. Back to the waking up part though, does anyone have any advice on this. He will literally sleep the day away while we are at work. He also has anxiety and depression.

  17. Great schedule, simplified! Thanks. But — what if the homework involves online tasks? How then does the parent (short of standing over their child to supervise) keep their child from getting distracted on computer games/Minecraft?


Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *