Be. Allow. Accept. This is the essence of “Being With It”. This is one of the simple, most profound tools you will ever come across. (So much so that we hand out wristbands that say “Be with that” to anyone who attends our weekend workshops).
When we say “Be with it” we generally refer to one’s emotional state. So often people with Asperger’s (and their families!) get so overwhelmed, burnt-out and spent that they have very little emotional processing capabilities. Then they forget to process their emotions once things get a bit better, and get stuck in a freeze loop of more and more overwhelm.
(Note: We discuss the freeze loop in our free Defense Mode web class)
Being with it is so simple it can trip people up. All you have to do is let everything be as it is. Don’t try to control, manipulate, change, or make different at all. Let your emotions be. If you get uncomfortable, be with that too.
Yes, it is uncomfortable. Yes, it does “suck” at times. But if you stay connected to those sensations, they start to change. They start to melt. And suddenly, what was once uncomfortable is now effortlessly easy.
As Eva Angvert-Harren of BEAM LiFE says, “Don’t just do something, stand there!”
So next time you are feeling overwhelmed, uncomfortable or afraid, instead of trying to stuff down the sensation, avoid it or deny it, try being with it. Just allow it to happen, go toward it and connect with it. The results are always magical.