1 Step Behavior Change

As you might be aware, I have a very minor (and by that I mean it extremely massive) obsession with communication, psychology and behavioral change.

I really believe that studying how people communicate and behave is as close to a cure for Aspergers as you can get. Unfortunately, not many people are willing to put in the work.

Anyway, I was watching a video yesterday talking about a simple 1 step trick for behavior change, and thought to myself “Hey, This totally relates to Aspergers!”

So I made a video discussing a very important subject, and one you hear us repeat over and over and over.

What is the magic 1 step to Behavior Change? Watch the video below to find out. (Hint: Expectation)

6 thoughts on “1 Step Behavior Change

  1. I loved this video. It was really insightful for me Danny. I see now that I really don’t expect my son to do good academically because everything is behavior and I’m always in defensive mode. I want to protect him. I need to learn the difference between protect and advocate. He is 12 years old. I love him, he is a happy , loving, inquisitive child. He says the funniest things. BUT…he has that reactive part, reacts to whatever, if someone does something to him then he does it back, he gets in trouble for touching, he gets reprimanded for getting frustrated and hitting things…Its that one thing…frustration and acting out in a meltdown, screaming etc. One lady at a birthday party told me he acted like he was possessed… 🙁 Thank you for these videos. Looking forward to watching more and buying some of the material.

  2. But if we EXPECT things from them, then we are trying to control them? Then they have more anxiety because of our expectations? You mentioned communication. So I have to keep telling him how great he is doing and that he can do this and be successful. I have to keep praising him for all his effort? So he can reach his full potential

  3. I have been watching your videos and have been so moved by your advice, particularly this video. My 4 year old son struggles every day with certain interactions and tasks and I expect him to do certain things and we do not abandon tasks until they Are done. You can imagine the emotional toll this takes on us both. Recently I have been wondering… Am I too rigid? Am I the one that needs to lower the expectations and just let him be? I’ve been searching and searching for this guidance and I finally have my answers. He has so much potential, and I will continue to believe in his ability. Thank you.

  4. In the early stages of getting our 19 year old son “officially” diagnosed with Aspergers here in Canada. He’s been treated with anxiety and depression for the past two years while Aspergers was overlooked by many health care professionals. Now that we are more than certain that this is what we are dealing with and it’s the Aspergers that has caused the anxiety and depression, we are trying to find someone to do the actual diagnosis. Because he is over 18 (by 2 months), the assessment will now cost us $3000! We can’t put a price on his health, but so completely disappointed that this wasn’t caught not only by me, but all the teachers, guidance cousellors, doctors etc. Very frustrating indeed. Trying to be mindful that there IS a light at the end of the tunnel. Thanks for sharing your thoughts, insights and ideas.

    1. Thats great to hear you are finally figuring things out! Quick question to consider: What will he benefit by getting a formal diagnosis? He is out of school (unless he is in college) so they only reasons to get diagnosed are for government services and insurance. Might save you a bit of money if you aren’t trying to go that route. I’ve even found that I can get accommodations in college just by talking to the professors, instead of going through disability services.

      Either way, congrats on figuring things out!


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