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  • Danny Raede

    The 9 Most Important Things To Remember When Raising Someone With Asperger's

    By Danny Raede

    You read a book. Or listen to a doctor or therapist and think "That's a great idea!"... but when it is time to finally IMPLEMENT that advice, you easily forget to actually use your new found wisdom. Sound familiar? It's something I've done time and time again. So as a reminder, here are the top 9 things to remember when raising someone with Asperger's. You might want to print this one out and hang it somewhere to remind you. If you'd like more reminders, inspiration, and hope, you can join
    • 1 comment
    • 6,096 views
  • Danny Raede

    I have never been impacted by any experience as much as I was at an Asperger Experts seminar

    By Danny Raede

    Note: The author of this letter has asked to remain semi-anonymous, so we're posting this on their behalf. Dear Asperger Experts; I recently flew from New Jersey, to Seattle, to attend your two day seminar with my 15 year old son who is on the autistic spectrum. I am a physician and have practiced for 16 years, at some of the most prestigious institutions in the country..  I have attended countless seminars and conferences watching presentations of the most innovative advancements
    • 0 comments
    • 499 views
  • Danny Raede

    My Experience With AE: I'm Impressed

    By Danny Raede

    Note: This letter was emailed in to us, so, with permission, we're posting it on the behalf of the author here. I attended one of Danny’s seminars early this year on Getting Unstuck. I want to share my impressions with you. I was so impressed with the quality of the work he and his partners are doing, the resources they offer, and their international reach…and with the brilliant, courageous participants. I am a psychotherapist specializing in trauma treatment and an executive coac
    • 0 comments
    • 469 views
  • Danny Raede

    He did what I asked without reminders, and it's only day 2!

    By Danny Raede

    Note: This author of this letter has asked to remain anonymous, so we are posting this for them. Guys. Yesterday C and I discussed mandatory non-electronic down time after school (and what qualifies), then the importance of doing homework and chores before electronics. He rolled around on the floor and moaned for a short time when it came time to do chores, and then he suddenly sat up and with pursed eyebrows said, "I'm feeling overwhelmed." I asked him if he would like me to help
    • 0 comments
    • 581 views
  • Wirtjo Leonard

    We should talk about Covid 19

    By Wirtjo Leonard

    I’m freaking out. You’re freaking out. We are all losing our marbles. We are in a scary time, there’s a lot of uncertainty, a lot of change in routine, and a lot of chaos. At Asperger Experts we aren’t denying that and we don’t want you to deny it either. It is of the utmost importance that for the health of ourselves, our loved ones, our neighbors, and complete strangers that we stringently practice empathy, social distancing, washing hands, and if need be social isolation. But in addition t
    • 6 comments
    • 2,259 views
4 steps to building trust

4 steps to building trust

Whether you are a parent, teacher, therapist, or person with Asperger’s, learning how to build & create trust leads to strengthened relationships, less Defense Mode, and an improvement in life in virtually every area. Since a large portion of living with Asperger’s means understanding, living with, and eventually getting out of Defense Mode, and since Defense Mode relies on connection & trust, learning how to build trust is essential. Raising someone with Asperger’s is pretty m

Danny Raede

Danny Raede

My Asperger's + early emotional trauma = need to control

My Asperger's + early emotional trauma = need to control

To be honest, when I was diagnosed with Asperger’s (High-Functioning Autism) at age twelve, it didn’t have much of an impact on me. My parents, the therapist, and I sat on the couch as the good doctor took a few minutes to explain the particulars of my diagnosis while I listened politely. He asked if I had any questions. I didn’t. I remember thinking it was a funny word, but, at the time, I didn’t comprehend its full meaning. To me, it was just a word like any other. And that was it. In fac

Danny Raede

Danny Raede

The one thing I needed most: Perspective

The one thing I needed most: Perspective

Back in the early days of Asperger Experts, when we were first learning how to help everyone in the best way possible, I attended a seminar called “Experts Academy”. There I was taught how to create courses, market those materials, work with coaching clients, etc. The music was loud. There were a lot of people. It was hectic. And yet, because it was my current “special interest”, I enjoyed it. I didn’t get overwhelmed. Funny how that works, isn’t it? Anyway, there was 1 thing that Bren

Danny Raede

Danny Raede

One of the main reasons I got motivated was this

One of the main reasons I got motivated was this

A lot of people ask me, “Danny, what was the “thing” that changed you and got you motivated? How did you become independent and start thriving in life?” Today I’m going to answer that question. Our story begins with a boat. And not just any boat. I'm talking about Oasis of The Seas, currently the one of the largest cruise ships in the world. Back in 2009, I had just gotten out of high school and I moved to Denver, Colorado to attend College Living Experience. College was nice, but the

Danny Raede

Danny Raede

Video games.. or high school graduation?

Video games.. or high school graduation?

If it came down to video games, or going to your High School Graduation ceremony, which would you choose? Can you guess which one I did? If you choose video games, you are correct! (Sorta). In May 2009 I was graduating High School (FINALLY!). I helped my video production teacher setup for filming graduation, got my graduation pictures taken, yearbook signed, etc. Then promptly ignored the graduation ceremony entirely and went to a video game orchestra concert with my parents

Danny Raede

Danny Raede

The pain of feeling like a failure is real

The pain of feeling like a failure is real

I remember when my parents first sent me away from home in California to go to College Living Experience over in Denver, CO. It’s a very expensive program that helps kids with learning differences navigate the college world, gain some independence and begin to hopefully thrive in the world. So there I was, sitting in my new apartment in Denver, just as my parents had left, wondering how the hell in the world I was going to do this thing called life. For about 2 years after that, I always fe

Danny Raede

Danny Raede

The day I finally believed I could

The day I finally believed I could

It was the Spring of 2013. I was sitting in a chair on day 3 of a 4 day seminar on spreading your message as an expert. At that time, Asperger Experts had really only reached about 100 people or so (mainly my mom’s friends) and I WANTED to do great things in the world, but I really didn’t believe I could. Then that day, I “got it”. Finally I was in a place where people could see I was doing great work, I felt appreciated, and more than that, I had guidance. The speaker on stage was tel

Danny Raede

Danny Raede

This is going to suck

This is going to suck

This is going to suck. A lot. I’m not talking about this article. I’m talking about your journey with Asperger’s. There are times when you are going to be frustrated. There are times when you are going to want to give up. There are going to be times when you just can’t. At all. You have 0 left to give. There are times when you are going to be confused. There are times when you are going to feel like the weight of the world rests squarely on your shoulders. And there are going

Danny Raede

Danny Raede

You are an awesome parent. Here's how we know

You are an awesome parent. Here's how we know

Stop berating yourself. Seriously. Stop, right now. You’re an awesome parent. Do you want to know how I know that? I’ll tell you. At this very moment you’re reading an article trying to learn how you can better help your child. Bad parents don’t do that. In fact, bad parents are often the ones that think they they already know everything there is to know about parenting. Having occasional doubts about your child’s capability doesn’t make you a terrible mother or father. It only makes you hu

Danny Raede

Danny Raede

The 9 Most Important Things To Remember When Raising Someone With Asperger's

The 9 Most Important Things To Remember When Raising Someone With Asperger's

You read a book. Or listen to a doctor or therapist and think "That's a great idea!"... but when it is time to finally IMPLEMENT that advice, you easily forget to actually use your new found wisdom. Sound familiar? It's something I've done time and time again. So as a reminder, here are the top 9 things to remember when raising someone with Asperger's. You might want to print this one out and hang it somewhere to remind you. If you'd like more reminders, inspiration, and hope, you can join

Danny Raede

Danny Raede

I was a picky eater until age 25... here's what changed

I was a picky eater until age 25... here's what changed

At school I ate a peanut butter & jelly sandwich for lunch almost every single day from 1st grade - 10th grade. When I say almost every single day, I mean that I can literally count on both hands the number of days I didn’t eat PB&J. I was one of the pickiest eaters you can imagine. Everything had to be a certain way. EVERYTHING. I had to have a specific brand of bread. I had to have a certain type of jelly. And if you used the same knife to cut my sandwich that touched anything gre

Danny Raede

Danny Raede

  • Latest Featured Articles

    We should talk about Covid 19

    We should talk about Covid 19

    I’m freaking out. You’re freaking out. We are all losing our marbles. We are in a scary time, there’s a lot of uncertainty, a lot of change in routine, and a lot of chaos. At Asperger Experts we aren’t denying that and we don’t want you to deny it either. It is of the utmost importance that for the health of ourselves, our loved ones, our neighbors, and complete strangers that we stringently practice empathy, social distancing, washing hands, and if need be social isolation. But in addition t

    Wirtjo Leonard

    Wirtjo Leonard

    Demonstrations VS Declarations: How To Know If You Are An Effective Parent

    Demonstrations VS Declarations: How To Know If You Are An Effective Parent

    I was in Los Angeles last weekend, walking around DTLA and people watching and observed something I had seen thousands of times over the years: Parents telling their kids what to do. Not in the sense of "Throw away your trash" or "Come here", but things like "You need to trust me" and "Calm down". It occurred to me that the most effective parents, the ones that have a deep relationship with their child, and the ones that ultimately raise physically & emotionally healthy children that go

    Danny Raede

    Danny Raede

     

    Here on Earth

    My 5 year old son, C, is one of a kind. He is the most imaginative person I have ever met. He lives in a world full of magic, but visits our mundane planet to spend time with the people he loves (and for the chocolate).  The sensations on this planet can be hard for him to handle. Some noises are so loud or distracting that he has to plug his ears. Some places that are so quiet that it makes his head hurt. He is afraid of the dark, but bright lights make him edgy (even if he doesn't realize

    marymakesgood

    marymakesgood

    Give, Not Get

    Give, Not Get

    This is a paradigm shift that changed my life, so I'd like to share it with you: When we want to change something about a person, place or thing, it is very common in our society to ask "How can I get X to...?" "How can I get my daughter to do her homework?" "How can I get my husband to finally pick up his socks?" "How can I get my computer to stop freezing on me?" Yet when we ask "How can I get?" there are some hidden assumptions there that can be very dangerous and damaging

    Danny Raede

    Danny Raede

    New Years Resolution Revolution

    New Years Resolution Revolution

    Every year between 2014 and 2019 I told myself that I was going to go the gym. Every year, I was going to get healthy…. I’m going to get healthy, I’m going to get healthy, I’m going to get healthy. But come the first week of January, or any time really, I would be in that gym for 10 minutes max. Sensory overload is the loud noises of weights dropping. The massive amounts of people. Someone engaging me in a conversation that I really don’t care about. It's uncomfortably bypassing a group of ex

    Wirtjo Leonard

    Wirtjo Leonard

     

    Asperger's Means Afraid

    In September, my son James started at his new school. I decided not to tell his teachers about his autism diagnosis. I was determined that he not be labeled. As a teacher myself, I knew what labeling did to a child -- it hurt them, it stunted them. Even though I worked hard not to categorize my special needs’ students, I still sighed when I saw the words “learning disabled” on a student’s file at the beginning of the year. To put it simply, it meant more work for me.  I was determined that

    Kristina Lakes

    Kristina Lakes

    We're returning to Los Angeles for our flagship workshop!

    We're returning to Los Angeles for our flagship workshop!

    We're returning to Los Angeles for our flagship workshop, Deep Into Defense Mode Live! We'll be in Pasadena, CA on March 21st & 22nd, 2020 with 40 awesome individuals ready to get out of Defense Mode, gain some clarity & know what to do when it comes to motivation, relationships & more. In this workshop, we focus on 4 major areas: Understanding Defense Mode - What goes on inside the mind & body of someone with Asperger's when they are in Defense Mode? Stop Wal

    Danny Raede

    Danny Raede

    Celebrating Differently with Danny!

    Celebrating Differently with Danny!

    By Ellen Raede (Danny's mom) Raising a son with Asperger's, we often had to celebrate in a different way. Here are three examples: 1) When Danny turned 12, we were on vacation in Seattle.  To celebrate his actual birthday, Danny didn't want a party or special dinner, but instead requested a tour of Microsoft Headquarters.  Fortunately, we had a business acquaintance whose son coordinated a fabulous tour of the campus.  I really didn't understand all of the technical terms or descriptio

    Ellen Raede

    Ellen Raede

    How Emotional and Somatic Balancing Technique helped my Autism

    How Emotional and Somatic Balancing Technique helped my Autism

    Throughout my life I have not been able to relate to people on a level where I feel connected, understood, or accepted, and even more painful . . . in a way I feel loved. There was always a missing piece, a sense of being different, excluded, isolated, and just not part of. I used to love rolling myself up in a rug and feel the tightness around me. I loved my grandmother’s heavy comforter. I could barely slip under it, and as I lied there with this heavy weight from the comforter on my ches

    Eva Angvert Harren

    Eva Angvert Harren

    When My Son Was Diagnosed

    When My Son Was Diagnosed

    Right after James’ diagnosis of autism, his preschool had an end -of -the -year party. Parents talked about their vacation plans while little ones played on the swings and slides. I sat on the curb, away from everyone and glared at them.  I glared at his teachers, who had first referred James for testing. I glared at the kids, who had refused to play with him all year and even now, were avoiding him. I glared at the other parents, especially the woman who had said upon hearing our news, “Oh, we

    Kristina Lakes

    Kristina Lakes

    Are The Holidays Something You Dread?

    Are The Holidays Something You Dread?

    Are the holidays something you dread?  Maybe it’s too many people, high expectation placed upon you or even worse low expectations?  You’re not alone. I can tell you that I approach holidays from a very different place now that I know better.  What do I mean by know better?  I mean listening to my own body and being honest about the capacity I have for celebrations, as well as listening to my twins Lillian & Chloe. Before I understood what Asperger’s/Autism was, I took my daughters

    Gail Carrier

    Gail Carrier

    Coming Out with Autism

    Coming Out with Autism

    Coming Out with Autism By Eva Angvert Harren, Core Coach and Educator Often when we get into recovery we think, “Oh, THAT’s what’s wrong with me! Now that I know what’s wrong with me, I know how to fix it.” If I use the 12 steps and do what they tell me, I’ll become a better wife, mom, daughter, friend…a better whatever! That great awakening happened for me in 1990. The support in the 12-step programs is incredible, and many participants of these programs create a life beyond

    Eva Angvert Harren

    Eva Angvert Harren

    My Experience With AE: I'm Impressed

    My Experience With AE: I'm Impressed

    Note: This letter was emailed in to us, so, with permission, we're posting it on the behalf of the author here. I attended one of Danny’s seminars early this year on Getting Unstuck. I want to share my impressions with you. I was so impressed with the quality of the work he and his partners are doing, the resources they offer, and their international reach…and with the brilliant, courageous participants. I am a psychotherapist specializing in trauma treatment and an executive coac

    Danny Raede

    Danny Raede

    He did what I asked without reminders, and it's only day 2!

    He did what I asked without reminders, and it's only day 2!

    Note: This author of this letter has asked to remain anonymous, so we are posting this for them. Guys. Yesterday C and I discussed mandatory non-electronic down time after school (and what qualifies), then the importance of doing homework and chores before electronics. He rolled around on the floor and moaned for a short time when it came time to do chores, and then he suddenly sat up and with pursed eyebrows said, "I'm feeling overwhelmed." I asked him if he would like me to help

    Danny Raede

    Danny Raede

    Three years ago I was depressed. Then I came across AE

    Three years ago I was depressed. Then I came across AE

    Note: The author of this letter has asked to remain anonymous, so we're posting this on their behalf. Three years ago I came across you in a state of acute desperation. My 11 year old eldest daughter had been diagnosed with aspergers, and our life was in chaos. She was decidedly unhappy and angry and we all tip-toed around her sensitivities and tantrums. She would squeeze her head to stop unwelcome thoughts, throw things and destroy her possessions in her anger, and I lived in trepidat

    Danny Raede

    Danny Raede

    I have never been impacted by any experience as much as I was at an Asperger Experts seminar

    I have never been impacted by any experience as much as I was at an Asperger Experts seminar

    Note: The author of this letter has asked to remain semi-anonymous, so we're posting this on their behalf. Dear Asperger Experts; I recently flew from New Jersey, to Seattle, to attend your two day seminar with my 15 year old son who is on the autistic spectrum. I am a physician and have practiced for 16 years, at some of the most prestigious institutions in the country..  I have attended countless seminars and conferences watching presentations of the most innovative advancements

    Danny Raede

    Danny Raede

    It's only been a few days and... wow

    It's only been a few days and... wow

    Note: The author of this letter has asked to remain anonymous, so we're posting this on their behalf. I have 5 children 2 of which have aspergers, We have struggled for the last few years with my now 14yr old son who is aspergers.  He has been (as we now know) in full defence mode. His school anxiety became so bad 2 years ago that he developed emetaphobia and refused to eat which resulted in dangerous weight loss and him being signed out of school on medical grounds, after a long battl

    Danny Raede

    Danny Raede

    How to motivate by adding direction

    How to motivate by adding direction

    How To Motivate by Adding Direction: There’s a famous scene in Alice in Wonderland where Alice encounters the Cheshire Cat in a tree and asks him for directions. The interchange went something like this: Alice: “I just wanted to ask you about which way I should go.” Cat: “Well, that depends on where you want to get to.” Alice: “Oh, it really doesn’t matter so long as I get somewhere.” Cat: “Then it really doesn’t matter which way you go...” See, your child doesn’t j

    Danny Raede

    Danny Raede

    On bed time arguments & assuming you are right

    On bed time arguments & assuming you are right

    Once upon a time I was coaching a mother and her daughter who was diagnosed with Asperger’s (we’ll call her Sarah). In one particular session, they were having some disagreement about what constituted an appropriate bedtime for a ten year-old. Sarah insisted that she wanted to stay up reading an additional thirty minutes and that she could still wake up on time. Mom was principally opposed to the idea. She said that she frequently had to nag Sarah all the way out of bed and through her morn

    Danny Raede

    Danny Raede

    Is it a motivation issue, or a capability issue?

    Is it a motivation issue, or a capability issue?

    Folks, here’s the meat and potatoes: When you’re trying to change or encourage a particular behavior, “capability” is the first and most important place to start. Many people believe that if someone doesn’t appear to be motivated, it’s because they don’t want it. People hardly ever look deeper to find that someone actually does want something, they just don’t have the capacity and capability. As a coach, I see this every day when talking to parents. They tell me they’ve been trying for years to

    Danny Raede

    Danny Raede

    Belief, enabling & an electric wheelchair

    Belief, enabling & an electric wheelchair

    I was once working with a mother who had a twenty-something year-old son living in her basement. She complained to me that he never did anything except play video games. I asked her to describe what approaches she had tried so far, and what a typical day looked like. What she said next genuinely surprised me. It turned out that her son had no regard for cleanliness and self-care. So, bless her heart, mom would go down to the basement every day to clean and organize his room. She also said h

    Danny Raede

    Danny Raede

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