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This is going to suck


Danny Raede

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This is going to suck. A lot.

I’m not talking about this article. I’m talking about your journey with Asperger’s.

There are times when you are going to be frustrated. There are times when you are going to want to give up. There are going to be times when you just can’t. At all. You have 0 left to give.

There are times when you are going to be confused. There are times when you are going to feel like the weight of the world rests squarely on your shoulders.

And there are going to be times (pretty darn often!) when you get frustrated at the sheer incompetence of the society that we live in. It will drive you mad.

Listen, the truth is that the world simply isn’t setup for people with Asperger’s. It’s not. And it’s not likely to change anytime soon. So unless you plan to buy a private island somewhere and go live as a hermit, you’re going to deal with the system, however ill-conceived and stupid it may be.

Look, we know you’ve been beaten up by the system. We’ve heard the horror stories. Like the kid who was acting out in his 3rd grade classroom, having a meltdown… so the teachers locked him in the broom closet until he calmed down.

Or the countless stories of dismissal, rejection and “He doesn’t look like he has Autism”.

I just want to let you know that you won’t get that here. We’re here for you. Genuinely. Truly. We’re down in the same place you are, in the trenches every day both dealing with our own anxieties and stressors, and helping others. It’s our job. It’s what we do.

In fact, its more than just a job. It’s our passion. We love helping people like you. With us, you truly won’t be alone. We get it. We understand. We got you.

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And there are times when you get everything the way you want it. Your cup runneth over, and yet you still feel unfulfilled, bewildered and disconnected. You discover that despite, no surprises, complete security, career success, public service, public adoration, absolute control of your environment, grace filled living and no triggers, you don't have the capacity to know what will make you happy, to know what's good for you, to fill the emptiness that separates you from other human beings. When I had peace without frustrations or stress what I was left with was melancholy. I made melancholy my friend, like Eor from Winnie the Pooh. Whenever, I have moments of joy, rage, bliss, deep depression, I employ my techniques for stability and life eventually settles back into a baseline of melancholy. To quote Thoreau, "Most men live lives of quiet desperation." With all the gifts that come with Asperger's, there is an accompanying dark side, that for me is melancholy. It's like living with limp that's never going to get better. It's the price of admission.

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Thank you for your transparency, Steven. It helps others - life me and my son (with Aspergers). 

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