You cannot get anyone with Asperger’s to do anything they don’t want to do.
Read that again.
We get parents every single day emailing us, and when you boil down the message, they are all saying “How do I get my son/daughter to do x”
Where x is watch our videos, stop complaining, do something with their life, clean up after themselves, clean themselves, etc.
You are asking the wrong question. You can’t get anyone to do anything, and if you continue to impose your will on someone else, you will just be met with more and more and more resistance.
So, how do you cause someone with Asperger’s to get their act together, if you can’t get them to do anything?
Well, let’s go through this as someone with Asperger’s would. Logically.
In order to do something, anything, you need to have some motivation to do it. Even simple things such as taking a step, eating, talking, etc require some motivation.
Therefore, since a fairly large portion of the world does things each day (barring any serious mental or physical issues), we can say that they also have some motivation.
People also have motivation for further things, such as what they want to do in life that they currently are not.
This doesn’t need to be big dreams. It could be as simple as “Go see the movie that is coming out on Friday”
Most of those “further” things tend to require a certain skillset, as well as certain expectations. Things like being hygenic, having stable finances, being able to communicate, and so forth.
So, rather than attempting to force your will on someone (like “getting them to” do something), if you work with the natural motivations that are there, the side effect of that is that they will comply with the basic skills and expectations required of them.
In other words, instead of trying to get someone with AS to take a shower, make friends, and do something with their life, find out what they are ALREADY motivated to do. (yes, they are motivated to do things, it may just not be the things you personally like…. such as playing video games).
Anyway, you find out what they are ALREADY motivated to do, and you help them get more into that. Yes, even if someone likes to play video games, if you help them get more into that, they might want to join a group of friends and play together. Which means…. they will be practicing social skills!
And if their hobby costs a bit of money to maintain… suddenly they will have all the motivation in the world to get a job.
To summarize: Instead of forcing your will ON them, see what they are already motivated to do, and go FROM that.