Chapter 1: How To Motivate With Spoons
Overwhelmed & In Defense Mode
In this chapter we’ll talk about the secrets of motivating someone who is tired, overwhelmed, and deep in Defense Mode.
Language For Talking About Overwhelm
We'll also give you a new language for talking about Defense Mode & overwhelm with your child, so that they can finally express how they feel.
Understanding The Science Of Vagal Tone
Finally, we'll talk about the science of stress, recovery, resilience and Vagal Tone (which is a good indicator of how much stress someone can handle).
Chapter 2: How To Motivate By Adding Resources
Can't... Or Won't?
Here we’ll cover the specifics of identifying and addressing capability blocks that impede motivation.
3 Kinds Of Capability Issues
You'll learn to identify the 3 different kinds of capability issues, so you can know when to push & when to back off.
What To Do About It
Step-by-step guidance for addressing capability blocks (and common mistakes to avoid).
Chapter 3: How To Motivate By Adding Direction
Objectives & Goals
In this chapter you’ll learn about the importance of having specific, attainable, and clear objectives in order for your child to feel motivated.
Don't Say These Words
Specific words that people on the spectrum have trouble processing and understanding (and what to say instead).
Giving Direction Without Micromanaging
Specific ways to help people on the spectrum be more productive, without hovering or micromanaging (which usually tends to make things worse).
Chapter 4: How To Motivate Like A Scientist
The Way You See It
In this chapter you’ll learn about the greatest block to confidence & motivation: assumptions. You’ll also learn how to overcome them.
The Approach That Doesn't Work
Telling someone why they are wrong usually backfires. Do this instead.
How To Cultivate Belief In Capability
What to do when they seem to give up before they even try.
Chapter 5: How To Motivate With Just Your Mind
The Impact You Have
Here you’ll learn the unseen ways that your thoughts and beliefs will inevitably impact your child’s success, for better or worse.
Are You Enabling?
Learn to identify when you are enabling & hindering growth, and when you are truly helping & providing useful guidance & encouragement.
Overcoming Your Own Doubts
What to do if you (or your partner) have doubts about your child's abilities (and have therefore lost hope for the future).
Chapter 6: How To Motivate With Control & Choice
Choice & Autonomy
In this chapter you’ll learn the essential importance of choice, and how to offer options and autonomy to your child so that they can be genuinely motivated.
Implementing A Different Kind Of Control
Step-by-step guidance for implementing the good kind of control.
What To Do In Extreme Situations
What do you do when things get emotionally (or physically) intense?
Chapter 7: How To Motivate With Connections
Linking The Desirable To The Undesirable
Here you’ll discover the simple process of creating motivation in order to make previously undesirable tasks more palatable.
The 6 Principles
6 Principles of self-motivation (that rely on connection, not coercion).
Avoid This Common Mistake
Do too much of this, and you'll destory your childs ability to motivate themselves.
Chapter 8: How To Get Stuff Done For Procrastinators
Make It Happen
In this final section you’ll learn the secrets of conquering the age-old enemy of productivity: procrastination.
Our Top 3 Tricks
Learn our top 3 tricks for beating procrastination and being productive on a daily basis.
Book Recommendations & Further Reading
Want to go deeper? We have plenty of book recommendations & further reading in the back of the book.